Makes me Wonder

Some Random Observations over the last few months.

Posters on Best Buses:

Recently came across one BEST bus, which had a huge Advertisement on its arse reading : Is your pressure cooker an earning member of your family?

What an intriguing question! Let me think… The combined number or pressure cookers owned by my family is 5.... We have 3 earning family members, so if add the numbers and multiply by 12 and then add 64 to it and then divide that by 30. Then number of zeroes being added to our household income by our pressure cookers is …Oh Yes Yes… Its Zero! The fine print at the bottom of the arse of the bus had some calculations about how much energy a pressure cooker saves and some periodic tables calculating time value of money and penny saved is penny earned kind of idioms. It kind of looked like my 8^th Standard English class married my MBA Economics class. Wonder who makes such intelligent adverts.

Banned Sites:

In spite of various alphanumeric regulations sponsored by CMMI, ISI, FYI and CSI being used by companies for blocking various websites at work, some employees always find ways to access Facebook, Gmail, Myspace and some people from Stone Age access Orkut too, without ever getting caught. But whenever the list of defaulters accessing banned sites is circulated to all and sundry in the department, the list will always have the name of one poor chap who is labeled under accessing Adult and Mature Content because he spelt the Word Apron as Aporn.

The Beauty Parlor Intelligence:

The best place to gauge the intelligence of womankind in any particular city is its beauty parlors. The lady customers at these parlors have a certain “je ne sais quoi” about them. Here, they feel uninhibited about their stupidity and seem to be riding high on a severe dosage of moronic acid. In one such Parlor I overheard a conversation between the beautician and some chick with her face covered in some green slime (Since I don’t know her name, let’s call her hulk because the green slime made her look like that). The beautician was inquiring about her job, when “the Hulk” announced that she works for a company in the BPO sector and that the sector pays well and provides her with various sorts of exposure and learning. Before the Hulk could elaborate all the benefits and perks she was getting through this job the beautician interrupted her and asked her a very sincere question… What does BPO Stand for?

A long awkward pause followed this question; and after some brief contemplation the Hulk replied, it stands for “Bank Process Outsourcing”. The women around her seemed enlightened; life teaches something new every day. We use millions of abbreviations, who knew a simple acronym could have such a profound meaning. If only the guys working at the Vodafone Call center knew that they were somehow working for a Bank.

Show Cause Notices behind the Auto Rickshaw Driver’s seat:

My trip from home to work is a 30 minute auto rickshaw ride. One day I saw a notice behind the driver’s seat which had a 3 step training program for the passengers.

1. Always address the driver as “Aap”
2. Don’t bargain on the fare
3. Always remember to thank the rickshaw driver.

Now what I don’t understand is that at what point exactly am I supposed to thank the rickshaw-wala. Is it when he asks me where I have to go, what route I would take and all that he wanted to know but was afraid to ask, and then says no he wont go there... or when 126 rickshaws zoom past me each morning ignoring me as if I am sikander kher’s upcoming flick or should I thank him when I tell him my destination, and he makes a facial expression of such contempt as Vijay Mallaya would have made if I had told him that his next holiday home destination should be the Gaza Strip.

Life is Unfair… Now What??