Love, Lust and ....

Today I realized one thing. The worst co-passengers that can ever exist on the face of earth are newly married couples. I had a close encounter with one on my way back from Pune to Mumbai.
Somehow in India being newly married translates to a license for Public Display of Affection. On any ordinary day, a boy and girl sitting together, at any public place (eg. Buddha Park, Lodhi Garden, Juhu beach, Bandstand etc. etc.) may be subject to the wrath of the likes of Shiv Sena / MNS / VHP, but no one bothers to unleash hell on this clan.
Thus began my journey, seated next to this newlywed couple, who I shall call Pinki - The girl and Vickky - The boy (as they were referred to in the yester years of Hindi cinema). Now if you are travelling alone, the only best thing next to falling asleep is to listen to what the other co-passengers are talking about, this gives you an insight into their lives and human psyche in general, but on this occasion the conversation was beyond endurance. I was trying to understand that what do two people who have never known each other, before they were married, talk about! The conversations ranged from Vickky asking Pinki, that how much does she think was the total spend on their marriage (… the amount estimated was good enough to feed an entire village in Uganda for one year, I guess) to what Pinki and Vickky’s mother think of each other. Matters of salary, relatives, etc. were also discussed. When all this was getting out of hand I decided to thank Mr. Varun Kaushik for the music he had very kindly bestowed upon me and “Korn” came to my rescue, but only for an hour when my headphones decided to plot against me and stopped working subjecting me to the torture again.
Now, you can still ignore whatever they talked about, but then Pinki and Vickky decided to get naughty in the car! Three other people are sitting in the car as well, have some mercy! No one is interested in seeing your kissing action… Go get a room or something…. This is not your car! While my head was screaming all these words the deadliest word came out of Pinki’s “oral cavity”… “J..A..A..N..U”… by now my mind was ready to puke… Yuck! I mean, how long have you known this guy, to call him jaanu or is it that since you’ve not know him that long… you have you forgotten his name or something and so decided to call him jaanu?… And then… Vickky decided to be brutal to my ears and called Pinki “J…A…N…A..M”…
Suddenly the world around me started to sink and in the background a song was playing… Janejigar Janeman, Tujhko hai meri kasam… Tu jo mujhe na mila mar jaoongi main sanam… Thanks for planting this song into my head… Now it’s difficult for me to bear my own self!
Atlast we reached Sion… it was a relief! I have decided to change cabs in the future if I ever sense any newlyweds trying to get into mine… So much for shared cabs… Please God! I pray to you, NEVER let me become one of their kind…