I am Crasssy About Eleesshh!!

Yesterday, I witnessed on television, an event, greater in magnitude and importance than the Olympics, FIFA World Cup, The miss Universe Pageant and America’s Elections, all put together. Its rarity and peculiarity can be compared to the Halley’s Comet and this event was called, Rakhi ka Swayamvar. Now that Rakhi has put a seal and stamp on her crassiness about Eleessss (Elesh Parujanwala), I am feeling a void. Why God Why! Why me??? I wanted to see a second season of this show… You can’t leave me high and dry like this! Now what am I supposed to do at 9:00 PM sharp every day. My life seems so pointless without Rakhi, I have nothing to look forward to. This is Cheating!

For all those who missed this epic of an episode here are some excerpts. This piece might seem a little distorted and that’s because right now and even while I was watching the show I was drowsy on heavy medication.

The evening was being hosted by Mr. Ram Kapur and the venue was Mumbai ka chamchamata hua Leela Hotel, turning the whole event into a Raam Leela. On stage Rakhi didi looking like draupadi with 4 chandelier like something hanging from the ceiling of her head, Ram bhaiyya and Ravi Kisaan Bhaiyya, and the three could be grooms - Lallu, Bhallu and Golu (aka kshitiz, elees and manas respectively). Ram bhaiyya has 5 mikes, he has kept the best one for himself (the one which actually works) and the rest have been distributed between the families and grooms and Rakhiss. The audience back home is expected to keep their thumb stationed at the remote’s volume button since the volume is at blaring levels when Ram Bhaiyya speaks and inaudible when anyone else speaks.

Rakhi begins by thanking Ram Bhaiyaa, Ravi kisaan bhaiyya, all Mummyjis, Papajis, Aru ji (for watching all episodes) and proclaiming her haepyiness about everything. Then comes the moment of truth (Not sach ka samna!)

Ram Bhaiyya to Bechain Rakhi: To Rakhi kya aap apna dulha chunney ko taiyyar hain?

Bechain Rakhi:… (long pause)……. No Ram Bhaiyya…. Not before I sing a thousand hymns in praise of my ishtdev, Jejus, I want his blessings before I take any decision. Jejus aap mere andar aaiyye, kyunki main aapke bina kuch nahi kar sakti. (Jejus Choir arrives, everyone starts looking up and singing profusely)

**********************Hymns Conclude*********************

Ram Bhaiyya (annoyed waley): To rakhi ab agar aapka Dhong khatam ho gaya ho to aap apna decision batayeingi?

Bechain Rakhi: Agar mere decision se baaki families ka hard break hota hai to main kshamas mangna chahti hun… ye decision sunatey huey meri dhadkans tez ho rahi hain, chahey to Cardiogram kara lo

Ravi Kisaan Bhaiyya: Common Rakhi… You can do it, Poora desh wait kar raha hai is ch*#iyape ke end hone ka… ab to bata do… Just do it! (Is dialogue ke prayojak they Nike)

Bechain Rakhi: Ram bhaiyya,…. Ravi Bhaiyya… maine chuna hai….

*Commercial Break*

Fortune 500 Companies like Revital, Unwanted 72, Medimix sabun etc. are sponsoring the show

*program resumes*

Rakhi looking confused as to who should she choose… She walks towards the grooms, the 52 week billboard chart topping number “Piya se milne ko bechain.... dhoondhe sajna ko din raat rakhi (aaa...laaa... laa)” is playing in the background. Rakhi walks past the first groom, then the second one, then the third one…. Has Rakhi decided to hold Swayamvar part 2 or Will Rakhi marry Ram bhaiyya??? When such questions were just crossing my mind, she turned back and chose… Elessh…

I knew it! High fives everywhere…. After all Rakhi was crasssy about elesss…..

Bechain Rakhi: Maine Elesh ko isliye chuna kyunki wo bohat machyure hain, wo NRI hain, unke paas bohat paisa hai, main bollywood se bore ho chuki hun aur ab main Toronto me Item Numbersss karna chahti hun….

*Ceremony Ends*

Unlike most people I do not look down upon Rakhi, infact I am thankful to her for adding new dimensions to my English vocabulary! I learnt several new words and newer ways of pronouncing those words in this one month. I have learnt of new relationships like Sishter in Low and Maather in Low; of the random S’s that can be used in the middle or at the end of the words; New ways of pronouncing anniversary (Rakhi’s version: Annvensary), Mature (R’s V: Machore); The 50 million Waaaoooos (Wow!) that she used to throw away in each episode kind of like the world bank distributes aids to the bhooka nanga countries. I have also learnt of sentences which sound like phrases. Mummy so good, papa so good (I mean why waste any energy on verbs). I have learnt of plastic facial expressions and fake lofters.

Anyways I will miss Rakhi didi and as for Elessh all I have to say is that “agar patni sataye to humko bateyein”

Mona daaa..arrling…….. Sona kaha hai…..?

During the last days of my graduate college, my Badee Didi asked me to make a CV and start applying for the campus placements. In the hobbies section of that CV, using my “chalaak lomdi type dimaag” I put, SLEEPING. This heroic act of mine was followed by “do thappad” from my sister and me being forced to write fictitious hobbies like stamp collection and music etc. (The other hobbies I was forced to delete were avoiding homework, Collecting toothbrush handles and Writing Tabloids on my neighbors). Now if I got through any job interviews using that fictional CV is another story but for now let me speak of my real factual hobby, i.e. sleeping.

I have many excellent qualities, but once I go to sleep, it takes atleast a string quartet singing qawallis at blaring sound levels to wake me up (Lead singers of this quartet ought to be nothing less than Altaf Raja, Bappi Lahiri, Narendra Chanchal and Shabbir Kumar). A Yawn generated in any corner of the room catches my attentive eye and with due respect I try to reciprocate the gesture with an even wider one. I have thus established a “Yawn Sambandh” of sorts with many people who share this hobby. Some people make tall claims that they have a cure for this itch, as seen, painted on the walls surrounding all major railway tracks in northern India: “Yawn Rogi” fauran milein, hotel sunshine, bus stand ke peeche, Dr. Juneja, but I sincerely doubt their expertise regarding this matter.

I have enjoyed different aspects of sleeping throughout my life. I have latched the room from inside and slept like a horse, forcing my parents to get the door broken, but miserably failing in disturbing my sound sleep. While sleeping, I had once dropped my Pillow on a burning Kachua Chaap, without realizing that the room was soon filling up with smoke. The only comment I had to make in my sleep regarding this was that “lagta hai koi neeche ke flat me hawan kar raha hai”. I have sleep walked as well, taking a tour of my home at 3:00 AM which ended at counting all the tomatoes in the fridge. And since the day doesn’t provide ample opportunity for me to express my thoughts, at times I do sleep talking as well. I have dozed off while talking on the phone. I have also enjoyed naps during classes and exams. Once an irate teacher woke me up with his sarcastic comment, “Miss Sharma ..aaaa…. Am I singing a lullaby??... I can’t understand… How do you manage to sleep inside the class, outside the class, inside your hostel room, in the morning, during night, during exams, when I can’t sleep a wink till 4 AM…” (I so wanted to say that sar umar ka takazza hai, aur hamara caliber hai, warna ye sabke bas ki baat kahan?)

Sleeping is not a simple act, there are different kinds of sleeps that I have encountered.

The Cinemaa-Scope Sleep: This is the act of intentionally falling asleep next to a laptop playing your favorite movies or movies with your favorite stars. For example to get a John Abraham infested dream, I would intentionally play Jism and go off to sleep. * the contents of the dream shall not be disclosed due to censorship laws *

The Sleep Jam: No, It’s got nothing to do with jam and bread, you hungry type ke people! This is the act of sleeping with ear phones on, listening to your favorite music throughout your sleep. This usually ends with either your mp3 player falling off during the time of your hourly bed roll or can at certain times lead to some very nice musical numbers like “Tumsa koi pyaara koi masoom nahi hai , kya cheese ho tum khud tumhe malum nahi hai” getting stuck in your head for the whole day.

The Sleep Coma: Usually an alcohol infested sleep, when you are not aware of your where-abouts. I have seen people sleep under a heapful of books (and they were not studying), on the staircase, in the washrooms and corridors as well.

The Sleep Flux: The point in time when you'd usually be sleeping, but the computer monitor or the TV is keeping you awake. You are too tired and lazy to turn off the damned thing (even if it is a re-run of “Rakhi ka swayamvar” or some random shaitaani site that you opened a minute ago) The boredom is so great, that you think the prospect of sleeping is too boring to try. You'd rather keep listening to music on your iPod late into the morning

Sleep scars: These are marks left on your face or body by pillows, night-wear or bed-sheets after a goodnight's rest. These marks can give you a scare, as you end up looking like some character out of an Alien movie or a person who has just escaped from the trap of Jigsaw from a SAW movie

Sleep Shoot: The Picture portfolio of your photographs taken in compromising positions by your back stabbing friends and ill-wishers when you were sleeping during a class or at work. Usually a Sleep shoot acts as a good bargaining chip or just as a tool for your humiliation.

The Sleep Nazis: A person (generally your roommate), who insists on sleeping at a certain time each night and will even try to convince you to sleep early too. Although this person will try to dilute your intellectual capabilities by forcing you to watch serials like Sanjeevani, Utaran and some random serial based on “Baal-Vivah”, running at blaring sound levels but you can’t even think of watching a late night movie on your laptop because this person cannot sleep with a computer monitor on and doesn't budge even if you offer to position the monitor so as not to disturb him/her. Usually uptight about really minor stuff. Gets pissed off easily at night.

I am 39% bored in life (Souce: Facebook Quiz: How bored are you?, edition June 19^th, 2009) and hugely inspired by the great napping legends like Narsimha Rao, Haradanahalli Doddegowda Deve Gowda, Atal Bihari Vajpayee from the spheres of politics(Ye…“Mr. Prime Minister takes a small nap, someone nudges from behind, Vajpayee jee Wakes up all startled”… Acchi Baat Nahi hai!) and the likes of Hemant Kumar from the music Industry who preferred to sleep even while singing (Ye raat *nap* ye chaand….*dozing*…nee *Yawn* fir kahan…). So sleeping is my favorite refuge. India ke wicket jaldi gir gaye, Solution: So jao. Flight do ghante late hai, Solution: So jao. There is no one in your house to talk to, Solution: So Jao. Traffic bahut jyada hai...gaadi chalaate chalaate so jao. Exam kal hai, padhne ka man nahi hai, so jao. Footpath khaali hai...so jaao… Lift abhi tak mere floor pe nahi pohnchi, so jao… Barish ho rahi hai, So jao… Dhoop pad rahi hai, So jao… Movie Boring hai, So jao. My Sleepatite can put the likes of Kumbhakaran to shame. At times I fail to realize that how did my 5 minute nap turn into a 5 hour sleepathon, I guess I am a “Sleep” Junkie, but I am proud to be one.

Anyways, It's not easy to juggle a stressful job and household chores, but somehow I manage to fit in eight hours of Sleep a day. Now if you'll excuse me I have some Z’s to catch.

The Chronicles of Wriddhi

Once upon a time in a jungle far far away, the land called Dorli, I met a goliath, his name was Wriddhijit.
His size is complimented by his sense of humor of mammoth proportions and he is blessed with the power to see things differently. His only concern in life is that what will happen to all the gems of wisdom that he so freely produces. He wants them to be shared as his legacy and contribution to the world of demented. So here begin “The chronicles of Wriddhi”

The One where Wriddhi became an Alien
One fine Wednesday morning I got a message from a worried Wriddhi. The Conversation went like this:
wriddhijit: accha suno… kisi se kehna mat... main alien hun....
me: kya? par kyun?
wriddhijit: didnt it come as a surpise to u...? me being alien... is it normal..??
me: no… quite expected i wud say
wriddhijit: then its ok, coz i was worried... I’m informing office, I don’t know if they would still keep me
me: i think if u r an alien with an indian nationality it wud do; they can’t throw u out. Waise kaunse planet se aaye ho tum?
wriddhijit: u cannot pronounce it with a single tongue....
me: how many tongues would I need?
wriddhijit: in ur language / tongue the closest u can pronounce or hear is aarghonicsd
me: And are there any others of your creed here?
wriddhijit: yes... shubham rai resembles one.. but he is vehemently protesting... he is worried that we may take him back and he may not work for rentimental. Now suddenly I am getting a feeling that I do not belong to this place. Chalo anyways... thanks for the good time we had together.. u accepted me like I was one of u..
me: we had no other choice
wriddhijit: I will send some intra-celestial postcard when I do go back, till then try to convince Shubham and send him back.

The One where Wriddhi plays with the emotions of Movie names and Songs
Wridhhi loves to analyze songs and movies. He holds a unique perspective about them which no critic or director can ever think of. For example here are some of the atyachaars that he has done with the names of movies:
shaka laka boom boom - dirty dancing on nasal tunes
nache nagin baje been - Ananconda part 3 - the sound of music
ulfat ki nayi manzilein - When love got lost in the lanes of Manhattan
curious case of ganja(bald) mutton – he wants to cast Raghu/Rajeev of MTV fame in the leading role

He also intends to make a Bhojpuri Classic : “Choli utaro Holi hai”
According to him this movie is to have a hit dialogue
".. utar phenk iss choli ko beti... jis choli ne tujhe hamesha samaj me peche hee rakha he... aaj holi ke pavitra din me.. choli utarke tu chala de goli...woh he kis khet ki mooli???”

His favorite Dialogue : " will shove the gun so much up in ur arse that u will beg for bullets.."
Wridhi on his favorite actor: Mithunda... bhagwan he… hum unhe prabhuji bulate he… and unke movies unke leela he… prabhuji ki leela

Wriddhis versions of songs:
Bhaiyya ji peek barsayo.. mera mehboob aaya hai

He feels that the song “Haule Haule Se Hawa Lagti Hai” from Rab ne bana di Jodi is actually about the first time experience of a couple with ting tong. With special emphasis on lines from the song like “Tu Sabar To Kar Mere Yaar, Zara Saans To Le Dildaar” and “Risthon Ki Galiyaan Tang Hai,… Khud Se Khud Ki Yeh Kaise Jung Hai, Pal Pal Yeh Dil Ghabraye, Pal Pal Yeh Dil Sharmaye, Kuch Kehta Hai Aur Kuch Kar Jaaye”

Another Ghazal was once converted to “Pyaar mujhse jo kiya tumne to kya khaogey?... Kabhi star vada pao to kabhi jhunka bhakar jaogey”

The One where wriddhi has simple concerns in Life
Wriddhi is full of questions. Bhola Bhala Wriddhi… Ye to kuch bhi nahi jaanta. He has time and again voiced his simple concerns like agar govt meri baatein sun le to kya mujh pe NSA lag sakta hai?
He once asked me, in all the glory of his innocence that “Sablok clinic me jo 100% beta hone ka guarantee card detey he woh sahi hota he ya gimmick hai?”
He also has this concern that “Jab saari duniya chhat (roof) pe patang udati thi tab uski chhat pe hawa nahi thi!”
On being transferred from Calcutta to Delhi, poor wriddhi was harassed by the girls of his class by asking questions like “Tum dilli kyun aaye, Calcutta me scools nahi hai kya?” and was made fun of coz he was the only guy in class who wore trousers and not half pants. He sadly comments that “Mere bachpan me ye sab hua tha to tum soch sakti ho ki mera bachpan kaisa beeta hoga?”

The One where Wriddhi says something out of the blue
Wriddhi feels that he isn’t that creative but the people around him, those who understand him, appreciate him and who complete him help him bring out the special talent in him. So here is a compilation of some beautiful lines uttered by this great mind, totally out of context.

You are early to bed and early to rise, oh wise man.. what is your size

Stars are burning dazzling bright in the village sky... funeral fire burning on the pyre...urs and mine paunches are increasing proportionately.. and no measurement tape can fathom by how much...

Main galey me rumaal baandh ke zeenat aman lagta hun!

Main ladkiyon ko buri nazar se dekhta hun aisa unko naa pata chaley isliye maine goggles khareed liye hain

Apna aapna kissa hai.. aapna aapna hissa hai… Koi lut jaata hai.. koi loot jaata hai

Arre suno dost.. suno tum.. paagalpan ki bata mat karo.. tumhi ne kiya hai paagal

Everything said and done.. human civilization can be divided primarily into 2 groups - one who know Pali and the other whor are gonna know pali

The one where Wriddhi hosted a Dumb Charades Competition
LAdies & Gentleman... presenting you the four wizards of dumbcharade...the living legends ... the magnificient four... First... from the mystic peaks of North... the misty mountains... Aru " ESKIMO" Sharma.... legend has it.. when she arrived.. the world turned dumb for 5 days... then came the great depression.... next.. from the dark and dangerous jungles of India... the maneater of mangalore...Wriddhijit " Dumb Duck " Banerjee... he infamously carried out a revolution without speaking a work.. his firebrand mime speeches are still read in pol. science classes... the from the scientific south... I give you... the man.. the machine.. the wizard of the oz Kartik " scissorhands " korpal.....when he acts a jwaalamukhi erupts in jupitar... and last but lot the least... Shubham " the nagrik" roy... the civilized devil of "veer chhatrasal" and " champakali" fame.... the silent assassin...so my friends.. join ur hand .. here they come... the DUMBIZARDS...

The One where Wriddhi was describing the area where he lives
With the purpose of scandalizing a poor soul this is how Wriddhi described the area where he resides:
Foo foo chawk, Phoonkne wali galiyan; daru waali road; Absolut avenue; Talli galli; Nasha nagar; Ganja chawk; Behosh basti; Madira mohalla; Nashedi nagar; Chemicals choubara; Drugs darwaza; Ketamine khatiya; Heroine haseena; Cocaine kameena; marijuana se marwana; Opium oshiwara; Charas ka chaska; Desi ma maska; Independent injenction; Tharre ka chaubara; Brown sugar ki dagar; Aasman me udte hue joints; Pani me tairti hui beediyan; Road pe rengtey hua zarda; Pedo pe uge hue chillum; Zameen me gadda hua tambaaku; Seeli hui cigret; Kachre me pada hua botal; botal ke baju me lete huey hum; fattey huey kapde; kitna dard hai teri aankhon me.. UFF!

Random Wriddhi
These are some random Gems from Wriddhi’s pitara:
Tumne wo add dekha hai jime ek chhoti bacchi astronaut banna chahti hai... raju mama ke paison se moon pe jaana chahti hai?? HDFC wala? Ticket rajumama leke denge..
Jab bacchi yeh statement deti he uske mom ke chehre pe ek ajebb sa khushi cha jaata he.. aakhir unki bhai ki tariff ho rahi he...
another one..
Maine ghar pe bola ki suno main bazaar jaa raha hun… Kuch lana hai to bata do…. Saamne se jawab aaya… jo bazaar pyaar se de de wo le aana… zyada behas matt karna… aakhir bazaar ka bhi apna ek mann hota hai ki wo kya dena chahey…

Wriddhi is a gem of a giant whose body outgrew his brains. He is the most commonly misunderstood person. He is the one who can post the results of facebook quizzes like what will you grow up to be? (The result being “Whore”) and what should your nickname be? (The result being “Cinderella”), for everyone to see with unmatched confidence. Here’s wishing a very happy birthday to him with only one question unanswered “Wriddhi tum itne acchey kyun ho?”

Ek Do Teen Chaar.... Band Karo ye Atyachaar!

A few days back, lying on my bed, like an unemployed whale, with legs stretched out, I got to thinking (When I start to think, a volcano erupts on Jupiter, Sabu and I are from the same clan). My Mother has been harassing me day in and night out to prepare a Bio-Data of sorts, so that she can go ahead and play the matchmaking game (It’s still called a Bio Data, Neither a “CV” nor a “Resume” but a Bio Data in the spheres of Matrimony). I just imagined her browsing seriously through numerous profiles in the Matrimonial Pages of some newspaper like Thook-Matt Times (Sister Concern of Lokmat times) and the only image that came closer to this sight was that of a rag-picker, maybe because until a few years back the only utility that these pages had was to increase the returns on sale from the Raddi waley bhaisahab. To begin with, this whole concept of Shaadi is way beyond me, I mean till the time you aren’t married, there is always an element of “Chase”, excitement, a need and willingness to go an extra mile for the happiness of your partner but the day you are married you become as good as the sofa in the living room or the microwave in the kitchen, basically a general interference in the other one’s life. Making each other miserable becomes the sole agenda of people.

And so I got to thinking, what is it in me anyways that would make anyone who hasn’t met me want to marry me. All this arranged marriage stuff according to me, is based on false information provided by both parties, and jhooth ki buniyaad pe bane huey rishtey kahan tak chalenge? I can certainly put on wonderful faces but kiski majaal hai ki they will accept the real me… So as a challenge I am going to write below, the real true me wala BIO Data, Mummy please redirect all queries here… If the people are ready to bardashtofy this… I still have a chance in the world of Holy Matrimony, otherwise it is Adios Amigos!

So here I Go with absolutely necessary footnotes which should not be missed:

Name: Aru Sharma

Pretty much a straight answer, but don’t ask me the meaning, coz even I don’t know, I have been asked if Aru is a short form for Arundhati, Aruna, Arushi, Arunima etc etc. Sorry but I don’t know what it means, and that’s about it. Some people have tried and miserably failed in Googling the meaning of my name… Now you get to know why I am so pointless… Shuruaat hee aisee thi, naam ka matlab nahi hai meri baton ka matlab kahan se dhoondhtey ho?

Date of Birth: 25 August

I intentionally did not mention the year above, the point not being that I want to hide my age but I want to emphasize my mother’s statement ki tum ab 25 saal ki Ghodi (Female Horse) ho chuki ho… Ab waqt aa chukka hai ki tumhari shaadi ho jaye, tumhari behno ki theek time pe ho gayi thi, duniya waale blah blah blu blu bakar kartey hain.. Ye Wo, pata nahi kya kya?

Time of Birth: 10:10 pm

Kaafi bura samay tha dharti- waasiyon ke liye… aur aagey kya bolun chaachi. Ab mera Sun Sign hai Virgo, and as all virgos I am a selfless person who would do anything to help you. My sun Sign says that I am the breath and light of a better person who thinks, discriminates and displays compassion quietly. I am supposed to be Highly intelligent, possess a clever, sarcastic sense of humor that shows an awareness of myself and others, very observant and have an eye for detail, fussy and nitpicking, a perfectionist and yada yada…

Hobbies: So many… Read the foot note below

My hobbies are day dreaming, cracking sadele thakele PJs, Makkhi Machhar Maarna, Addhi raat tak jage rehna aur bahar jaa ke sadkein naapna, har weekend movie dekhna (Movies might range from Chandni chowk to china, money hai to honey hai to billu barber and one..two..three… I am an avid fan of Govinda and the likes), I love to cook but somehow somebody always feel that I am stuck to Poha and Upma and don’t venture beyond that :P. I love to Buy shoes, more is less for me, on the last count I had like some 40 pairs of footwear, and my thirst for more has still not been quenched.

Habits: Again, can’t be summarized in one line, read below.

My habits, at most instances, have been observed by others rather than me. So my habits, as people say, include, bitching about people, never taking things seriously, jealousy, I live in constant denial, I am too loud and don’t know what to speak where, I get terrible mood swings, I am as Lazzyy as a sloth bear, I am big time filmy and full of Nine Tanks (aka Nau-tanki). My mother says that I Cook well but always create such a mess in the kitchen that the cockroaches and rats of the house consider me their “IshtDev” and have opened up a temple in my honor, and if bubonic plague was to ever spread across the country, it will most certainly be due to my kitchen habits. If you are to ever open my cupboard, you are quite likely to be buried under an avalanche of clothes. But still people manage to bardashtofy me… I am grateful to all my friends for that.

Happiest Moments

Childhood memories: Learning to whistle from pados ke bhaiyyas an then returning the favor by calling his father by various names like “Ganju patel, teri khopdi me tel” and “takley”; Going to the Zoo every night with my father to watch black panthers

Adolescence: Scoring good marks in My board exams, still remember the ice cream that I got as a prize for scoring well in 10^th.

Youth: Getting in Hansraj; The first shoes I got from my first salary; Playing bachda bachda at office; laughing till me cheeks would hurt and I was about to fall off the chair.

Worst Moments:

Childhood Memories: Pulling the Hair of my nursery school teacher as she forced me to come down the slide / Throwing stones at a raging bull and then running across the colony trying to save my ass from getting in line of the bull’s horns

Adolescence: All bad memories are related to maths; My sister thrashing me like a punching bag, because I got 2 out of 5 sums wrong; Always getting border line marks in maths and hiding the report card till the last day; playing “Holly-wood” and “tic tac toe” in maths class and getting scolded for that.

Youth: Being Foolishly Shy and not proclaiming my interest in all my crushes till the age of 23. I missed out on a whole lot of good guys because of this. Some of them know who I am referring to :P

Favorites

Favorite Actors: Harman Baweja, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Rajnikant, Mithun etc. etc.

Favorite Colour: mehroon, margenta, belack, bhai-eat, rani colour

Favourite Proverb: Well Behaved Women rarely make history!

Favorite Food: Chicken Chandamama, Macchi Matondkar, Anda Shivdasani, etc.

Favorite Place: In the house – Bathroom (living in Mumbai with 2 roommates, you pretty soon learn that bathroom is the only place where you will find some solace); Outside the home – baliya, basti, gaunda, hardoi, bahraich ( I have my driver’s licence issued from this place), badaun etc.. etc…

Blood Group: O+ve (sounds like someone is calling me from the behind, “Abey Ooo… Positive ke..., idhar aa”; I have the Universal Donor Blood group, maybe that’s why people resort to “Khoon Choosna” antics with me.

Baaki to Ladki Grah Karya me daksh hai aur kaafi interesting / entertaining hai… Ab koi plss meri maa ko samjhao… Why should I be pushed into this well… Mujhe bhi jeene ka haq hai…

Still if someone is interested please mail me at dimaagmatkhao@gmail.com or kehdokiyejhoothai@yahoo.com